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May 14, 2007
my boys...
are letting me down...
but i, too, believe in miracles.
go, golden state.
happy mother's day.
Posted by emnorris at 01:12 AM | Comments (0)
May 07, 2007
the bridge
here lately, i've been obsessed with shows like wildest police videos or most shocking police videos...can't say why, really, other than i watch them pretty much every day...most days, i watch police cruisers chase down runaway criminals while i enjoy a cup of coffee, maybe a bowl of crispix with soy milk...a guilty pleasure, i guess.
aside from feeling totally conflicted about watchin these types of shows, they certainly have caused me to think more and more about the availability of the visual, our ability--thru technology (dash cams, camcorders, etc.)--to witness horrific images from the comfort of our homes...or at least, in my case, the comfort of my office...
and now i'm watchin the bridge and haven't decided just what to do with it. it's a documentary about folks who have committed suicide by jumping off the golden gate bridge. the film-makers interviewed family members, loved ones, and friends, and the film cuts from interview footage to images of people jumping from the bridge. i'm not quite sure how the film-makers were able to get this footage. i would imagine that there are several cameras around the bridge to monitor activity. however, there are some scenes that seem very staged...as though the film-makers knew when folks were going to jump. i'm not sure. and even if that these images weren't staged, there's a surreal quality to the whole film...like i can't believe what i'm seeing...i had the same reaction to watchin the rodney king video...like, "this can't be for real. this can't be happening."
by this time, i've seen at least three people jump from the bridge. what has that done for me? to me? just because technology is such that we can capture these images and then distribute them, should we? and how complicit am i when i decide to watch? and yet, i'm transfixed...the actually suicide is difficult, but i think that i'm most moved by the pain, the suffering that of these folks endured. the similarity among all the narratives = mental illness and depression...feelings of desparation...i've had one dear friend who suffered from depression. it was painful to see him when he was at his low points...when he was like that, it was like i didn't know him. what was most scary was that when he was like that, he had not control...he would cry or become so angry that i thought that he would shiver himself to pieces. we no longer speak, and i miss him very much.
and now the documentary is over, and i'm watchin the golden state/utah game. there's something disconcerting about the ability to flip the channel and flip the reality. (i hope golden state wins...)
quote of the day
"i just wanna be normal again...but i never will be."
kevin hines
Posted by emnorris at 11:29 PM | Comments (0)