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February 25, 2005
nikki and gwendolyn
just in case you didn't know, although you should...
nikki giovanni
"Revolutionary Dreams"
I used to dream militant
dreams of taking
over america to show
these white folks how it should be
done
i used to dream radical dreams
of blowing everyone away with my perceptive powers
of correct analysis
i even used to think i'd be the one
to stop the riot and negotiate the peace
then i awoke and dug
that if i dreamed natural
dreams of being a natural
woman doing what a woman
does when she's natural
i would have a revolution
"Nikki-Rosa"
childhood remembrances are always a drag
if you're Black
you always remember things like living in Woodlawn
with no inside toilet
and if you become famous or something
they never talk about how happy you were to have
your mother
all to yourself and
how good the water felt when you got your bath
from one of those
big tubs that folk in chicago barbecue in
and somehow when you talk about home
it never gets across how much you
understood their feelings
as the whole family attended meetings about Hollydale
even though you remember
your biographers never understand
your father's pain as he sells his stock
and another dream goes
And though you're poor it isn't poverty that
concerns you
and though they foght a lot
it isn't your father's drinking that makes any difference
but only that everybody is together and you
and your sister have happy birthdays and very good
Christmases
and I really hope no white person ever has cause
to write about me
because they never understand
Black love is Black wealth and they'll
probably talk about my hard childhood
and never udnerstand that
all the while I was quite happy
(The Selected Poems of Nikki Giovanni)
and gwendolyn brooks...
"The Mother"
Abortions will not let you forget.
You remember the children you got that you did not get,
The damp small pulps with a little or with no hair,
The singers and workers that never handled the air.
You will never neglect them or beat
Them, or silence or buy with a sweet.
You will never wind up the sucking-thumb
Or scuttle off ghosts that come.
You will never leave them, controlling your luscious sigh,
Return for a snack of them, with gobbling mother-eye.
I have heard in the voices of the wind the voices of my dim killed
children.
I have contracted. I have eased
My dim dears at the breasts they could never suck.
I have said, Sweets, if I sinned, if I seized
Your luck
And your lives from your unfinished reach,
If I stole your births and your names,
Your straight baby tears and your games,
Your stilted or lovely loves, your tumults, your marriages, aches, and
your deaths,
If I poisoned the beginnnings of your breaths,
Believe that even in my deliberateness I was not deliberate.
Though why should I whine,
wheine that the crime was other than mine?--
Since anyhow you are dead.
Or rather, or instead,
You were never made.
But that too, I am afraid,
Is faulty: oh, what shall I say, how is the truth to be said?
You were born, you had body, you died.
It is just that you never giggled or planned or cried.
Believe me, I loved you all.
Believe me, I knew you, though faintly, and I loved, I loved you
All.
"The Last Quatrain of the Ballad of Emmett Till"
AFTER THE MURDER,
AFTER THE BURIAL
Emmett's mother is a pretty-faced thing;
the tint of pulled taffy.
She sits in a red room,
drinking black coffee.
She kisses her killed boy.
And she is sorry.
Chaos in windy grays
through a red prairie.
(Every Shut Eye Ain't Asleep: An Anthology of Poetry by African Americans Since 1945)
Posted by emnorris at 04:59 PM | Comments (0)
February 23, 2005
these are a few of my favorite things
i've been adding to my dvd collection, and i mean that i buy 'em two to four at a time. to make it in the hallowed collection, it has to be a movie that i can watch over and over again. or it has to have some emotional significance. and i don't mean that movie that made me cry my eyes out, although i do have a few of those in my collection. when my parents first split up, my brother and i had weekend visits with my mom. and on those weekends, we would go to the movies. we saw a lot of great movies like "the last dragon" and "beat street." we also saw lots of crappy movies, ones that i can't even remember.
i've been thinking about whether or not to switch completely over to dvd's. like should i seek dvd versions of my godzilla movies? star wars trilogy? jaws? the thing? i'm thinking that i'll be making that move sometime in the future...when my pockets get a little deeper than my grad-school stipend allows.
needless to say, i highly recommend all of these movies. take a look at a few of my favorites with some fav quotes. i know some of the quotes won't make much sense because i'm givin 'em to you out of context. all the more reason for you to check out the movies. enjoy.
the outlaw josey wales: "i reckon so." or "whupped 'em again, didn't we, josey?"
jaws: "you're gonna need a bigger boat."
uptown saturday night: "you're my queen, sarah. you're my queen." and "if y'all don't tell me everything i want to know, we gon beat all the black off both of you." and "rotten, boring, and underpaid, but thank you, jesus."
goonies: "slick shoes? are you crazy?"
the princess bride: "as you wish."
bustin loose: "your life, joe, is worth more to me than $15,000, you fool!"
ghostbusters: "listen! you smell something?"
the empire strikes back: "judge me by my size, do you?"
Posted by emnorris at 04:18 AM | Comments (0)
February 22, 2005
40 years
it has been four decades since the assassination of malcolm x. just finished watching the american experience documentary, "malcolm x: make it plain."
i can hear the saints urging the pastor: "preach, pastor. make it plain."
i've decided not to do my normal posting thing. instead, i'll be sharing some quotes from "our manhood, our shining black prince."
We ended up with twenty-two million Black people here in America who hated everything about us that was African. We hated the African characteristics, the African characteristics. We hated our hair. We hated our nose, the shape of our nose, and the shape of our lips, the color of our skin. Yes we did. And it was you who taught us to hate ourselves simply by shrewdly maneuvering us into hating the land of our forefathers and the people on the continent...When you teach a man to hate his lips, the lips that God gave him, the shape of the nose that God gave him, the texture of the hair that God gave him, the color of the skin that God gave him, you've committed the worst crime that a race of people can commit. And this is the crime that you've committed.
"Not Just an American Problem, but a World Problem" delivered on February 16, 1965 at Corn Hill Methodist Church, Rochester, New York
As a Black American I do feel that my first responsibility is to my twenty-two million fellow Black Americans who suffer the same indignities because of their color as I do. I don't believe my own personal problem is every solved until the problem is solved for all twenty-two million of us.
"We Are Fighting for Respect and Recognition as Human Beings for All Black Americans" interview conducted February 13 thru 20, 1965
And the whole world thinks that America's race problem is being solved, when actually the masses of Black people in America are still living in the ghettos and the slums; they still are the victims of inferior housing; they are still the vicitms of a segregated school system which gives them inferior education. They are still victims, after they get that inferior education, where they can only get the worst form of jobs.
"The Oppressed Masses of the World Cry Out for Action Against the Common Oppressor" delivered at the London School of Economics, February 11, 1965
quotes found in February 1965, The Final Speeches: Malcolm X, Pathfinder Publishing, 1992.
Malcolm X was assassinated on February 21, 1965 in the Audubon Ballroom, New York.
Posted by emnorris at 04:36 AM | Comments (0)
February 21, 2005
access miami to the christian children's fund
i got caught in the late-nite tv nebula. i ended up watching access miami (access hollywood's first cousin) in its entirety. i just couldn't stop watching.
this show promised to give its viewers a back-stage pass to all the celebrity spots. you know, going inside the hottest, most exclusive clubs; driving thru gated communities; eating at the swankiest restaurants; all that jazz. and i must admit that south beach seems like the place to be. did you know that michael jackson went into a local diary queen and asked for a poster off the wall? michael jackson...off the wall...mariah carey said, "why be cold when you can wear a bikini?" when in south beach, she spends her time in a $10,000 a nite penthouse, complete with its own pool. one time (at band camp) usher hosted a party that featured live animals. lions and tigers and bears and a few flight-less birds, i think.
now, what else comes on during late-nite tv? ads for the christian children's fund. talk about a binary. the juxtaposition of images of opulence and material wealth with those of hungry children and unfit living conditions really struck me, and i was immediately confronted with my great sense of conflict. i'll admit it: i could do miami. i wouldn't mind having access to fisher island. and i especially could deal with the winters. i'm not gonna lie: i wouldn't mind pushin a luxury ride. and most importantly, i can definitely live someplace where i can fish year-round.
flippin the script...
when i lived in the philippines, my mom used to tell me stories about smoky mountain, an enormous mountain of refuse. it smoked because of all the rotting and decaying and burning. families live on this mountain of garbage and spend their days shifting thru trash, looking for something to eat, and salvaging anything that may have a monetary value. it wasn't until i moved back to the states that i saw smoky mountain...caught a documentary on tv. i watched as children laughed and played on this landfill.
the children that need the most help look like my cousins. what about the poor babies in our fair country who go to sleep without meals? does the christian children's fund run international commercials highlighting the needs of poor, american kids? doubt it.
i try to do my part. i don't consciously shop at stores that have a pattern of abusing and exploiting workers. i recycle, though not as rigorously as i should. i don't wear blood diamonds. i assign my students marilyn frye's essay, "oppression." i know better. but sometimes i feel like knowing better isn't enough, although g.i. joe and his counterparts would have us believe that "knowing is half the battle." is it?
Posted by emnorris at 05:03 AM | Comments (0)
February 19, 2005
neckbones on a winter's day
i'm doing much better, thank you. the past few mornings, i've been able to wake-up without feeling like my head was going to explode. and i've only had to blow my nose five times versus ten before walking out the door. and i'm working on something that i know is going to make me all better.
a pot of bones of the neck of the pig...in other words, neckbones. according to my father, a sure remedy for what ails ya. whenever i get sick, which is much more on the regular since i've moved up south, he recommends a hearty meal: "food that'll stick to your insides and keep you warm." to stay healthy, i need to eat lots of potatoes, black-eyed peas, pinto beans, collards, turnips, and cornbread. add to that meatloaf, roast beef, some roasted chicken, and, of course, neckbones. now, for those who are watching their weight in anticipation of spring break, summer vacation, or whatever, this may not be the ideal diet. and, for those working in specific professions that have strict weight requirements, don't follow my dad's advice. let me just say this: weight requirements for folks who work in careers that have a physical element (police officers, soldiers, athletes, etc.) make sense to me. weight requirements for women who serve drinks and keep gamblers happy so that they'll spend more money is another matter completely. come on now...as my favorite feminist would say, "no one cares about the girls."
neckbones are really easy to make. i just always thought that they were so hard to cook because when my dad does a pot of neckbones, they are so good.
dad's neckbone recipe:
season some neckbones with some salt and pepper. cut up some onions. throw everything in a pot and cover with water. slow cook all day until the meat falls away from the bones.
**my dad adds tomato sauce (for a thinner sauce) or tomato paste (for a thicker sauce) to the neckbones after they've cooked for a couple of hours. this makes for a great soppin-sauce for your cornbread.
to complement the neckbones:
throw on a pot of pintos or black-eyed peas. steam some rice. bake some cornbread.
looking forward to my medicine.
Posted by emnorris at 07:03 PM | Comments (0)
February 17, 2005
sick and tired of being sick and tired
sorry for the long absence...been sick in my body. actually, been sick in my head (and not in that way...although sometimes it's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how i keep from going under). i've been dealing with this sinus thing that just won't go away. and every year, around this time, i have to deal with this drama. lots of sudafed and kleenex and orange juice.
can't breathe, can't sleep, and can't blog. or won't blog. or don't wanna blog.
anyway...i'm back...
i had a real heart-to-heart conversation with a dear colleague of mine. you know, one of those "get-your-stuff-together" conversations that we all need from time to time. and we discussed my blogging, or lack thereof. so, i'm tryin to re-imagine this blog-space as a forum...a place where i can be me and not trip about what other folks may be thinkin or feelin or readin. and i guess i'm dealing with my anxieties bout soundin standard. and perhaps my anxiety is directly related to the fact that the motivating reason for my blog is that it is a course requirement. and so i'm feelin a little stifled, confined, and assessed. and silenced. how can i explain this? it's kinda like being on the dancefloor and gettin your groove on. you know, you're in your own space, makin your own rhyme and rhythm. then, you glance at the person next to...also in her own groove but one different from yours. and for a moment, an instance, your rhyme and rhythm is thrown off. your finger snap is off beat, your groove thing swings to the left when it should be swingin to the right. what to do? what to do? try not to look to the left or right...continue to dance thru it...suggestions?
Posted by emnorris at 06:26 PM | Comments (0)
February 06, 2005
a trip to gee's bend
while flipping thru the channels, i happened upon a documentary about the quiltmakers of gee's bend, alabama. i'm not gonna to try and articulate what i saw or how it made me feel. check it out. and even if you can't get your hands on the documentary, do some research while you're online checking your email, your bank account, or your whatever. trust me.
i will say this: i miss the south terribly. relocating "up north" to work on this degree has made me realize how much of a southern girl i am. i miss (not in this order)...
1. sweet tea and good grits
2. waffle house and krystals
3. bar-b-q plates from sunset
4. fried okra
5. starry nights
6. for-real fishin in the cut
7. sunday services
8. long beaches
9. family
10. friends
i really miss being around other folks who look like me.
and there are things that i don't miss about the south (again, not in order of importance)...
1. 70 degrees at 7 a.m.
2. adaptive inferiority
3. assumed superiority
4. not-see's
5. over-fished waters
6. suburban sprawl
7. urban decline
8. pick-up truck drivers who tear apart byrd(s)
9. places where more sunday bombings are planned
10. sand in my car
until i can think of more things to add to my list...
Posted by emnorris at 07:37 AM | Comments (0)
February 01, 2005
hip-hop means...
i themed my wrt 205 course around hip-hop. the text, that's the joint: the hip-hop studies reader (routledge, 2004), is a collection of essays that range in topics from hip-hop and gender to politics and resistance. i think the students are feelin the subject matter, and so far, class discussions have been engaging. i do have those students who claim that they know nothing about hip-hop. i tell them that if they've seen a recent sprite or mickey d's commercial, they've had a limited exposure to hip-hop. a surface kind of exposure, but an exposure nonetheless. they say that they can't even understand the lyrics. instead, they listen to hip-hop because of the beats, and "it's easy to dance to." and even those students are willing to take a ride to the black side...
reading essays along with the students has made me really explore what hip-hop means to me. the question is different than the one posed in the movie, brown sugar. sidney, the female lead, asks: "when did you first fall in love with hip-hop?" that's easy: my undergrad years at univ of maryland college park. certainly i had heard of hip-hop before that time but did not become a connoisseur until my junior year. i fell in love with a tribe called quest and brand nubians and de la soul and epmd and the jungle brothers and biggie and pac and dr. dre and lyte and eric b. and rakim. they sometimes whispered and sometimes shouted about the lives and loves of pigmented people. and i listened to and believed their love songs. but now, years removed from that first kiss on the dancefloor, i'm tryin to figure out what does hip-hop mean to me. i think i'm feelin a particular urgency because i'm finishing up my coursework and will soon begin defining my exam areas. and then the diss..beyond graduate work and diss writing, determining what hip-hop means to me, what hip-hop is will be the first step. right now, i'm satisfied to say that hip-hop, even in its current manifestations, is firmly rooted in the experiences of african-american/negro/black people. i'll figure out the rest as i go along.
Posted by emnorris at 12:12 PM | Comments (0)